Whenever I ran a one-off singing day, I would always encourage people to bring lunch to share.
The idea was to create a sense of community and get people to socialise with each other. But I no longer do that. Here’s why.
I assumed that putting a table of shared food in the middle of the room would be enough to help strangers mingle. In reality, singers tended to stick with the people they arrived with, or only talk to people they already knew.
home-made vs shop-bought
Some people would go to an enormous effort and bring amazing home-made food. Others, who perhaps lacked the time or confidence, would bring something from the supermarket. Over time, I realised that asking people to bring food could create an unspoken pressure — to impress, to compete, or simply to cope.
food waste
There was often a huge amount of food left over. I encouraged people to take things home, but still a lot still went to waste. I found this deeply uncomfortable.
too much plastic
Much of the shop-bought food came in plastic containers and wrappers. Not all of it was recyclable, even when the venue had a recycling system. By the end of the day, there was usually a depressing pile of unwanted packaging.
loads of washing up
If the venue had crockery and cutlery, it created another task at the end of the day: washing up — on top of tidying, stacking chairs, and clearing the room. Sometimes I brought paper plates and bamboo cutlery, but there was often no way to recycle them either.
special diets and exclusion
People with special diets usually brought food just for themselves, because they couldn’t be sure there would be anything suitable to eat. This meant they could end up feeling excluded from the shared lunch, rather than included by it.
packed lunches only
So I’ve stopped shared lunches. I ask people to bring a packed lunch just for themselves. It doesn’t completely solve the problem of packaging waste, but there is now very little food waste, and many people bring home-made food in reusable containers.
Do you still do shared lunches? How does it work for you?
key takeaways
1. Simply creating an opportunity for people to socialise with strangers is not enough. You need structured “mix and mingle” activities if you really want people to connect
2. Asking something of people — even something that seems small or harmless, like bringing food to share — can create pressure. Not everyone is equally able (practically) or comfortable (psychologically).
Chris Rowbury
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