Monday, December 07, 2015

Ideal presents for the choir leader in your life

It’s that time of year again (in case you haven’t noticed). The magazines are full of Christmas present ideas, but they always seem to miss out choir leaders.

Gift
photo by asenat29

So here are some perfect presents for any choir leaders in your life (hint, hint!).

It can be tough to come up with ideas for great presents for your choir leader. But I’m here to help. Here – in no particular order – are 10 ideas for perfect presents for choir leaders.

  1. a stick – to conduct with, but also to hit choir members with when they make mistakes. Preferably hand-crafted from sustainable wood, both long and hard with a pointed end.
  2. a megaphone – to give audible instructions to the choir when they’re talking too much (which is basically all the time).
  3. a massage – to relieve all the stress that’s mounted up over the last choir season. And in anticipation of all the stress that will come with the next choir season.
  4. lip balm – to soothe the lip that’s been bitten so often in an attempt to supress what they really want to say.
  5. a box – to stand on so that all choir members can see them and perhaps pay attention from time to time.
  6. a year’s supply of coffee – to keep them awake each week when running the choir session. And maybe a bottle of whisky to help them relax afterwards.
  7. a sparkly coat – or a hat with flashing lights or shiny things to wear at the next concert. You want to be proud of them standing out there in front of the choir.
  8. a slave – or personal assistant to follow them around and make notes when they forget what they’ve said at the last rehearsal and to remind them what they’re supposed to be doing next.
  9. a memory chip implant – so that they’ll be able to remember every choir member’s name without having to look it up.
  10. a month’s holiday in the Caribbean – they deserve nothing less for all the selfless work that they carry out carrying the choir single-handedly and bringing so much joy to people’s lives.

Next week: perfect presents for the choral singer in your life.

Chris Rowbury


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Chris Rowbury


 

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