Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing. There, I’ve admitted it.
We usually keep quiet when we’re unsure, but I believe it’s much better to own up in public. Here’s why.
Many of us think we are imposters. We don’t know what we’re doing and are hanging on by a thread.
We put on a brave face and “fake it until we make it.” We worry that we’ll be found out and revealed as a fraud. We’re waiting for someone to point out that we’re out of our depth.
This is quite normal. No matter how experienced we are, we all suffer from self-doubt from time to time.
And that’s a good thing. Otherwise, we end up being complacent, just going through the motions and not doing a good job.
I think we should own up when we’re not sure, when we’re a bit lost, or when we feel that we’re out of our depth.
we’re human too
It allows the singers to see that we’re human too. They will feel that we’re “one of them” and not try to put us on a pedestal.
The singers will realise that not knowing is common to all of us. It’s not a weakness. It’s part of the process. Making mistakes is OK. See Singers, don’t be afraid to make mistakes – it’s the only way to learn.
If you show your vulnerability, they won’t be frightened to own up when they’re lost or confused when learning a song. See Ask questions – your choir leader (probably) won’t bite!
bullshit detector
Saying that we don’t know is also a great bullshit detector.
When they feel underconfident, some singers need to find a way to show off their knowledge. Their ego takes over and they ask questions to demonstrate their musical intelligence.
“Was that interval a 6th?” “Was that a transition into A minor?” “Is this song in the Dorian mode?”
My response is almost always “I don’t know.”
When singers first work with me and hear that response, they think I’m being secretive and difficult. I must know the answer, I’m the choir leader after all. Surely I know what I’m doing.
After a while – when they’ve experienced how I teach songs and see that it works – they realise I’m not kidding. I really don’t know. They quickly realise that these technical music things are unimportant. It’s possible to learn songs just by listening and not applying book learning.
Also, saying “I don’t know” demonstrates my working method. I don’t rely on music theory and I don’t know everything, but I can still make it work.
is there an expert in the house?
Saying “I don’t know” in certain situations can invite choir members to step in and help. Rather than pretending that you know everything or can do everything yourself, ask the choir sometimes. You’d be surprised how much expertise is hidden there. You will help singers feel they can contribute to the choir other than with their voices.
Chris Rowbury
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