We all like to think our choirs are friendly spaces where everyone is equally welcome.
But being in a choir can bring back all sorts of memories of our time at school. All the things we found difficult as children can come back to haunt us.
I like to think that all the community choirs I’ve run over the years have been safe, welcoming spaces. But then one woman mentioned to me that in the break time, it felt like she was back in the school playground and feeling left out.
That made me realise that being in a choir, especially as a new member, is very like being at school. Here are some of the similarities.
how choir can be like school
cliques – just like in everyday life, it’s inevitable that small groups of singers within each section will become super-friendly. Even if they don’t intend to, it may make other singers feel excluded. Similarly when a new singer joins the choir, they might find it hard to break into an already established team of people.
bullies – there are those singers who tut when they think another singer gets it ‘wrong’, or they may offer unsolicited advice to newer singers, or they may sing loudly and ignore the others in their section. These are all subtle forms of bullying.
feeling left out at playtime – there is usually a break during rehearsal when singers get to mingle and socialise. This is just like being back in the school playground. New singers, or singers who are a little unsure of themselves socially will suddenly find themselves in an unstructured environment and may find it hard to go up to strangers to chat.
being in ‘learning’ mode – when you’re learning new songs it should be a challenging, but enjoyable experience. However, if we had a bad experience at school and found learning difficult, all those old fears might resurface. Singers can become anxious and worried, this often manifests itself as tension in the body. Not a very good state to be in when learning something new.
feeling powerless – at school many of us were made to feel powerless as we were ‘only’ kids and the adults ran the place. We would have very little say in how the school was run, how lessons were delivered, and how best we might learn.
the role of the teacher – back in the bad old days teachers ruled over us with a rod of iron. Sometimes literally! The teacher had all the power and could tell us off, punish us and controlled our grades and behaviour. Education was a serious matter and we had to behave properly, be serious and respect our teachers. In a choir it’s very easy to transfer this onto our choir leader, even though they may be lovely and treat us well.
being naughty – school is full of rules. There were many, many ways of breaking those rules and getting told off. In fact, some kids would deliberately be naughty as a reaction to the rules. There are also rules in choirs, so it may be that some singers automatically (maybe without realising it) become naughty as that is what they were used to at school.
getting things ‘wrong’ – when learning at school, things tended to be right or wrong. You were encouraged to always come up with the ‘right’ answer. There were no grey areas and you would lose marks (or even get into trouble) if you got things ‘wrong’. When learning a new song there will inevitably be mistakes along the way. That’s how the learning process works. But if you’re trapped in your school behaviour, you will be worried about getting things ‘wrong’ and this will inhibit your learning.
what can be done?
I’ve written about most of these different elements before. You can find them in the archive by using the search tool on the blog homepage.
Briefly …
Choir buddies can help avoid cliques and the awkwardness of break time. See How to avoid new choir members feeling left out in the breaks and Don’t forget the basics when welcoming people who have never sung in a choir before.
Bullies have no place in a choir, it is not your job as a singer to tell other singers what to do or to tell them off. See How to deal with a toxic choir member, Toxic choir (and committee) members – how to stop them spoiling it for others and Don’t try to help your fellow singers – it’s not your job!
Making mistakes is a necessary part of the learning process. See Singers, don’t be afraid to make mistakes – it’s the only way to learn.
Good choir leadership (and good teaching) is a balance between being in charge and being responsive. See Choir leading and power – striking a difficult balance.
‘Naughtiness’ can be avoided by keeping all singers engaged all the time. If it gets out of control, you might need to remind your singers of the choir’s ground rules. See Does your choir need ground rules?
older posts
Here are some other posts that you might find useful.
Joining an established choir: a guide for new singers
Joining an established choir: a guide for how choir leaders can help new singers
How to prepare new choir members for their first visit
New singers are trying your choir, but not staying – what can you do?
Chris Rowbury
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